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"You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you." - Anonymous
Sunday, March 26, 2006
THE INDIAN OLYMPICS
The last week I’ve been spending a lot of time with my musician buddies Colin Jensen, Gerard Singh, Amizan, Sherman Tan, Raymond Chia, Wan, Vishnu and Paul Ponnudurai. We’ve had several drinking sessions at the various outlets that they perfomed in, including Olde Tavern, Apartment 101, Slippery Senoritas and Big Fish.
Being the astute observationists that we are, we couldn’t help noticing a rather obvious trend - Indian guys with Chinese girls.
Yeah, yeah, I hear you say. This is bullshit. Old news. Yesterday’s newspaper. Hang on a minute, though. While it is old news, there’s been an upward movement in the trend level, a new paradigm shift if you will.
The latest trend now is for the Indian guy to look as if he’s bored out of his mind while the Chinese girl caresses him, hugs him, and culminates in her passionately kissing him. We actually saw couples “competing” in this activity, with the girls trying to outdo each other in the Indian Olympics.
The rest of us single, desperate and hard-up guys tried hard not to stare and concentrated on our drinks and the band. Jealous? You bet. It’s not just a one-off thing either, as it happened in all the other outlets we visited.
Let me state right here and right now that I have nothing against Indian guys. I certainly have nothing against Chinese girls, having dated, lived with and been burned by more than my fair share, to be perfectly honest.
What bothers me is where is my share? Why isn’t some chinawoman desperately trying to turn me on while I look coolly bored? Sheesh! Anyway, more power to you dudes.
Here’s a rap song I wrote, inspired by you guys. It’s a parody and yes I admit its sour grapes so please don’t get your underwear in a twist, ok?
YO YO FARKIN’ INDIO
Yo, I’m a farkin’ Indio, I own my own pub
Chinawoman by my side, I can rub rub
Whisky on my table, mixer soda club
I know I’m really cool, Grr! like a tiger cub
My place is happenin’ it’s a real social hub
Later tonight we’ll get in the hot tub to dub dub
Yo, I’m a farkin’Indio, check out my hip duds
I dislike other Indios, their asses so bloody dark
When I serve beer it’s got fresh foamy suds
Bonking chinawomen to me a walk in the park
Chorus:
Yo, I’m a farkin’ Indio, I own my own pub
Chinawoman by my side, I can rub rub
I know I’m really cool, Grr! like a tiger cub
My place is happenin’ it’s a real social hub
Yo, I’m a farkin’Indio, look at my bling bling
Shiny shimmering gold, just nice for a fling
My fashion? You can call me a ding-a-ling
Get your shades on, shortly I’ll be a-passing
Yo, I’m a farkin’Indio, who am I kidding?
I’m sitting here drunk, my ship is sinking
My mofos have left, after the free drinking
Chinawoman? In the loo homey, she’s peeing.
Chorus:
Yo, I’m a farkin’ Indio, I own my own pub
Chinawoman by my side, I can rub rub
I know I’m really cool, Grr! like a tiger cub
My place is happenin’ it’s a real social hub
Intellectual property © Dave Avran March 2006 Creative Commons.
Comments:
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Dei bloody bayi, u wanna kena wallop ah? watch yor moth ah!
- Muneeswara Pandian,
MIC Youth chief
Kg Medan Tambahan
- Muneeswara Pandian,
MIC Youth chief
Kg Medan Tambahan
#
posted by 
: 5:36 PM
: 5:36 PM Admit it, your just jealous cos u aint getting any yellow pussy. Wahahahahha!
- Kash
- Kash
#
posted by : 5:43 PM
: 5:43 PM Come on guys, can't you see the point here? He's just taking the piss out ot of you. It's humourous man - funny, get it?
- Alisha
- Alisha
#
posted by : 5:49 PM
: 5:49 PM Yeah, give the dude a break. He's just reporting what he saw in his own inimitable way. (read: very funny).
- Pei Shyuan
- Pei Shyuan
#
posted by : 5:51 PM
: 5:51 PM
Hey Dave...Gerard here.I thought it was a cool entry.Very funny...especially the rap composition of yours.You do know I compose too and I thought the song was too cool.I wouldn't sing it though for fear of being WALLOPED or is it WALLOPPED!Ha ha...I* want you to know that you are my favourite indio and that the entry leaves me in stitches everytime I read.I'll also bravely vouch for the fact that you're not rascist!!!Oh ya...please do check out my blog ( http://asliceofmypie.blogspot.com/ ) and do let me know what you think.Any help from you would be greatly appreciated!Hope you don't mind me pasting the URL here.Thanks
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