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"You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you." - Anonymous
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Why Do Women Go To Nightclubs - A Guide For Clueless Guys.
I’ve been a busy little bee since my post last week, going to various clubs and talking to several of my close female friends to come up with this week’s follow-up article. This after being 24 years in the hospitality and clubbing business. Sheesh!
The nightclub. Several rooms full of bustling babes, bass-filled tunes shaking the dance floor, and lights that make every person look great. Ahh... the nightclub. You love to go there with your buddies, you love to watch the scenery, but you're not sure why women go to nightclubs if you've never left with one, or have never even met a decent one.
There must be more to nightclubs than going out with your friends and just gawking at women; why would women dress to impress in what looks like uncomfortable knee-high boots, if they were just there to be with the gals?
Well, what I'm about to impart should come as no newsflash. Women do go to nightclubs for various reasons. But if you think they all want to be approached just because every woman is letting her hair down and wearing tight black pants, then you need to get back to the end of the line, where the only person you'll be making conversation with is the bouncer.
According to the women I polled, there are 3 main reasons why women go to nightclubs:
1-- To meet men - 64%
2-- To see what happens - 21%
3-- To have fun - 12 %
4-- Other (boyfriend, on a date) - 3%
Now while this seems as obvious as why Kid Rock (or any man alive) is bonking Pamela Anderson, it's not so evident for the thousands of men who crowd KL’s nightclubs. Trust me, I know. Read last week’s post on how I fuc*ed up big time.
Men may realize that women are there to meet someone special, but their problem is that they approach the wrong type of woman, they go about it the wrong way, and, after a couple of drinks - they assume that any woman wants to go home with them.
It's this erroneous assumption that makes club-going men the world over frustrated when they leave a nightclub empty-handed (so to speak), no matter how well their hair is gelled and how much their biceps are popping out of their shirt.
what are your chances?
If you know that 64% of the women swaying their hips to The Black Eyed Peas’ "Don’t Phunk With Me" are looking to meet men, and another 21% are there in order to "see where the night takes them, without having any expectations," then you know you have a way in.
The ones who are going there purely for fun usually have boyfriends, and are dancing away at the club while their men are congregated at someone's house drinking beer and watching the EPL match.
Even the small percentage of women that claim they're at the bar "purely to have fun," and are single, are looking for a man. They may not be actively looking, but if the right guy approaches them at a nightclub in the right manner, he has a chance.
Keep in mind that if most women in nightclubs are open to a relationship, it doesn't mean they are necessarily on the prowl -- it only means that they are "open" to the idea, and can be reeled in if you use the right bait.
Armed with this information, it's up to you to spot those who are there for the party, and those who are there for the afterparty ..
The types of females you'll find in nightclubs...
The perched peacock
This woman is at the nightclub to attract attention, but doesn't plan to go home with anyone. She dresses in very sexy, revealing clothes, and dances seductively. She's the one most likely to be dancing alone on the dance floor while her friends are chatting with others, or sitting at the bar alone, sipping her Vodka Orange. She's usually accompanied by two or three friends, never one other friend, because once she's at the club, she goes her own way. She thrives on the attention males give her, but will never acknowledge it.
Approachability: 10%
How to approach her: Never compliment her or give her attention; be cool and collected and make your presence known by approaching her in a casual manner. Ask her for the time or a lighter (if she's smoking), and then don't say anything.
The bloodhound
The bloodhound is out to get you. She is ready to approach men who interest her, and will have no qualms about asking men to dance, or starting up a conversation with them. She usually dresses seductively; she's pleased with her appearance and thinks men are too, and the way she dresses reflects just this. You'll find her dancing on the speaker or on stage, or among a group of men. She travels in packs; she may be with just one other girlfriend, and chances are those in her circle are similar to her. She's ready to go home with you, but she's not relationship material.
Approachability: 90%
How to approach her: If she doesn't approach you first, simply ask her to dance. Don't offer to buy her a drink, since she's probably getting drinks from many men.
The one you can approach, the one to stay away from...
The galloping deer
This woman is confident, attractive, and sexy in a subtle way. She wears anything from tight pants or a skirt with high boots, to halter tops or button-down blouses. She wanders about the nightclub ready to meet men and she wants their attention, but she's subtler and more innocent. She's usually the good-looking one who's standing with her girlfriends (usually a group of 2 or more) while making eye contact with a man; at a bar ordering a drink when a man she's interested in is standing there; or dancing with her girlfriends. She wants to have fun with her girlfriends, but she's also on the scene, working her thing in an obscure manner. She tends to be shy, but likes the attention men give her and she's ready to talk to a man who doesn't seem sleazy.
Approachability: 75%
How to approach her: Compliment her on her purse or ask her how the martinis are. Be subtle, and approach her without making it seem like you're picking her up.
The lioness
This is the woman who is already taken by the lion. She's at a club with her boyfriend for a night of dancing and drinking. You'll find her on the arm of her man.
Approachability: 5%
How to approach her: The only way you'll succeed is if her boyfriend leaves her alone for most of the night, and she's flirting with you by making eye contact (and a friend of yours can vouch for that). Approach her only if her boyfriend isn't bigger than you, or if you have a friend that can back you up if things get ugly. Not recommended if you like the way your face looks currently.
so, do you stand a chance?
Knowing how to pick up women in a nightclub is one thing; knowing whom to approach is another. If the lady you've been eyeing all night seems to be swinging out with her sisters on the dance floor, remember that there's a very good chance she's single and waiting for someone like you to approach her. This is why you shouldn't hesitate when approaching her. Even if she is one of those women who goes out because her boyfriend is out with the boys, pick yourself up and approach her whenever the timing is right, and break the ice. She'll let you know if she's already attached.
But if you know that at least 85% of women who are at a nightclub are ready to meet someone, and another 12% are open to the idea if you approach them the right way, then you have a 9 in 10 chance of meeting a woman -- the rest is all up to you.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Never Judge A Chinawoman By Her White Guy
Never Judge A Chinawoman By Her White Guy
(Or how I fuc*ed-up big time)
(Or how I fuc*ed-up big time)
There I was in my favourite watering hole, scotch and soda in hand, listening to Bala blasting away on his guitar while being surrounded by a large group of friends when I saw her. She had a very sweet smile and she actually flashed it at me. Yes - fat, bald and old me that no female ever looks at.
Didn’t take long before I was observing her every move and I’m sure she caught me looking at her a coupla times. Turned out she was a friend of a friend and I managed to get her business card. We’ll call her Ms Lim. We spoke a ‘lil bit but that was it - I was content to stare and fantasize and do nothing.
Then a phenomenon that takes place in a million bars every night started to take place right before my very eyes, infuriating me no end. White boy with a ponytail approaches her and starts to talk. She responds.
As the night progresses, they get closer, dancing at one stage. I noticed however that when he put his arms around her she diplomatically held his fingers in hers, thereby keeping his hands in check right smartly.
Having been in the clubbing business for a long time I’ve seen local girls being picked-up by Whitey a gazillion times. I’ve also overheard Whitey talking to his friends about how easy local girls are as long as you’re white.
So what do I do? Like a fool, I march right up to her and ask her “So is white boy successful? Has he picked you up? I’m gonna blog about you tomorrow!” On hindsight, I’m lucky she didn’t give me a slap.
Instead she coolly says “No, I’m going home with my friends. We just talked and danced. At least he approached me – I was smiling at you and you didn’t respond.”
I was gobsmacked. The concept of a gorgeous Chinawoman actually smiling at me was already difficult to wrap my brain around, but the fact that I could have responded and taken it a step further was beyond my feeble brain.
She was absolutely right – I blew it. I had first dibs and I fuc*ed up big time. What an idiot! I mumbled an apology like the pathetic loser that I felt like. I saw her point, and the fact that it was a very valid point of view indeed made me want to blog about it.
Called her the next day and she was kind enough not to hang up on me. Seems this happens most times she goes out with her friends – local guys simply don’t have the balls to approach them.
So all you chicken-shit local guys, get your huevos out of yo Mamma’s back pocket and give bloody Whitey a run for our girls, geddit? Yes that includes me as well. Sigh…
To make amends, I invited her to lunch at the club. I even told her it’s alright to bring her Mummy along. Who knows? To quote that famous Bogart line from Casablanca - It could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
The A - Z of Breaking Up
ACCOUNTING: Unable to count on each other, one threatens to
jump off a ledger due to sensing a lack of appreciation.
ANATOMY: "I never liked your body anyway."
ARCHAEOLOGY: One tries to bury the past, while the other tries to dig it up.
ARCHITECTURE: "There just wasn't much to build on anyway..."
BIOLOGY: "You just wanted to get in my genes!"
BUSINESS: Both take stock of their relationship, and then
calculate that they're spending way too much
time and money together given the future value of
their staying together.
CHEMISTRY: Unable to bond, they resort to drinking
isopropynol
COMPUTING: He wanted plug-n-play, but she saw an avalanche of free
downloads and hardware propogation.
COUNSELING: Each urges the other to "get help!"
ECONOMICS: One party demands more than the other can supply.
EDUCATION: Both concede that the relationship was a learning experience.
ENGINEER: "It's just so shocking... I'm sure there are positives and negatives, but..."
ENGLISH: Each writes the other a perfect breakup letter, complete with introduction,
thesis, body, and conclusion, that doesn't really say anything
substantively intelligible.
GEOGRAPHY: Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each other.
GEOLOGY: Although both felt the earth move under their feet initially, both later
GEOGRAPHY: Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each other.
GEOLOGY: Although both felt the earth move under their feet initially, both later
express the sentiments that the relationship was rocky at the foundation,
and slated for a volcanic eruption.
GERMAN: It was the best of relationships, it was the wurst of relationships.
HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party
GERMAN: It was the best of relationships, it was the wurst of relationships.
HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party
did in the past.
ITALIAN: "Mama Mia!"
JOURNALISM: "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their
ITALIAN: "Mama Mia!"
JOURNALISM: "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their
relationship of 2 weeks..."
LAW: They sue each other for breach of a pre-dating agreement.
MUSIC: Each utilizes an operatic lament to express his or her sorrow.
PHILOSOPHY: If 2 people break up in a room and there's no one to witness the breakup,
LAW: They sue each other for breach of a pre-dating agreement.
MUSIC: Each utilizes an operatic lament to express his or her sorrow.
PHILOSOPHY: If 2 people break up in a room and there's no one to witness the breakup,
are they really single?
PHYS. ED.: Despite her bad track record, he put the ball in her court, but she dropped
PHYS. ED.: Despite her bad track record, he put the ball in her court, but she dropped
the ball, didn't go the extra mile, and he ended up sitting on the side lines of
love.
PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down.
PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.
RELIGION: Each prays for reconciliation and/or curses God
SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.
THEATRE: "OH MY GOD! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"
WOMEN'S STUDIES: "He did it!"
ZOOLOGY: They were able to mate like rabbits, but lacked sophisticated
PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down.
PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.
RELIGION: Each prays for reconciliation and/or curses God
SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.
THEATRE: "OH MY GOD! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"
WOMEN'S STUDIES: "He did it!"
ZOOLOGY: They were able to mate like rabbits, but lacked sophisticated
communication skills.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
lost your girl to the resident foreign lothario at Hard Rock Cafe?
How That Dirty Unshaven Foreigner At Hard Rock Cafe Stole Your Girl
Have you ever wondered why some guys have all the luck when it comes to women? It's no secret that certain archetypal males have been proven over and over to be irresistible to women - and it's not simply because of their swarthy good looks or a well-defined six pack.
The truth is that women tend to be attracted to certain personality traits and so, naturally, they flock to the men who possess them.
Below are seven of these 'ideal types' of guys that women are drawn to, and an explanation as to why these guys are so appealing to them. But don't freak out or permanently alter your personality if you don't fit into any of these categories exactly -women will see right through that.
Ideally, you should exude some traits from each of these different categories; in fact, you probably already do. With a quick perusal of the list below, you should be in much better shape to understand what women are looking for, and most importantly, to make sure that you fit the bill.
1. The Romantic Guy
He believes in classic romance. He is constantly bringing her flowers and chocolate and lighting candles during dinner. He calls her often to let her know he is thinking about her, and looks into her eyes and tells her how he feels.
Why he is so irresistible: A woman loves to feel appreciated, and the romantic guy makes this happen. He uses romantic gestures to show her he is thinking about her. As an added bonus, she feels free to reciprocate and act on her own romantic tendencies.
2. The Confident Guy
He is totally secure and sure of himself. He is assertive in public, and gives off an aura of power and control (within reason, of course, as the "cocky guy" is not on this list). In a relationship, he doesn't get jealous of other men; he doesn't feel threatened by his girlfriend's male friends or coworkers.
Why he is so irresistible: Women are attracted to confident men. Consider this: If you think you are great, she will probably be influenced to think the same. The confident man doesn't seek approval from women, and this makes them want him even more.
3. The Artistic Guy
The artistic guy is spontaneous and lives for the moment. Often, he will use his creativity to woo her, such as with a song he has written about her or a painting he has made for her.
Why he is so irresistible: Every woman wants to feel unique and special. And there is no better way to make her feel this way than to use her as your muse, or your source of inspiration. She is intrigued by the artistic guy's creative mind, and especially by the way he incorporates her into his art.
Charismatic, rebellious, smart, and considerate guys all get the girl...
4. The Foreign Guy
He comes from a faraway exotic country; he might have a cute accent or a unique way of seeing the world. His social customs and everyday behavior can be a little quirky, but he always manages to come off as uniquely charming. Note that you don't have to actually be foreign to fit into this category. If you are well-traveled or speak many languages, you might be able to pull off the charm as well as any sweet-talking foreigner.
Why he is so irresistible: Charisma, charisma and charisma. There's not much more I can say about this one; it's just that mysterious je ne sais quoi that is so alluring. Women often choose this kind of guy if they are curious about the world, but most of the appeal comes down to a fascination with dating someone from another culture.
5. The Free Spirit Guy (a.k.a. The Bad Boy)
The Free Spirit Guy goes where the wind takes him, and the wind usually takes him on some kind of wacky adventure. He might ride a motorcycle, or he might skip work to take her on a last-minute road trip. But this guy doesn't worry too much about the consequences; he just sees where his own devices take him.
Why he is so irresistible: Every woman wants a bit of a rebel (within reason, of course). She loves his carefree attitude and hopes that it will rub off on her too. The bad boy spirit adds an element of youthfulness to the relationship and she loves to try taming him - although she knows she'll never actually succeed.
6. The Intelligent/Witty Guy
He instigates conversations that are intellectually stimulating and listens to what she has to say in response. He makes her laugh with his clever sense of humor and has an uncanny ability to make politics interesting. He can shoot the breeze with her for hours and it will never get boring.
Why he is so irresistible: As time goes on, your hairline may recede and your buff body may soften, but if you can keep her interested, you've won half the battle. An intellectual connection is a big part of what sustains a relationship, and if you can show her that you've got that, she'll be hooked pretty quickly.
7. The Considerate Guy
He holds open her car door and pulls out her chair. He foots the bill for dinner and makes sure to offer her dessert. He always asks her out with reasonable notice and picks her up at her door. He is generally sensitive to how she is feeling and when she is ready to go home.
Why he is so irresistible: Surprised? You probably think that nice, considerate guys never get the woman, but consider this: Once a woman has gone through her share of the bad guy, the rude guy and the not-calling-her-back guy, she will likely reevaluate her priorities. It takes a bit of maturity on her part to realize this, but eventually, most girls come around and realize that they want a guy who will treat them well in the long run.
A word of caution
Don't take any of these character types to the extreme or try to be someone you're not - it will be way too obvious.
The key to success here is to keep in mind why women like the character traits outlined above and what kind of gestures they appreciate. Then, mix them up and see which of these traits and gestures you are most comfortable with. With just a little bit of effort, you'll be able to find more than a few irresistible qualities within yourself - and accordingly, she'll be easily wooed by your newfound individuality.
Now isn't that worth your time, buddy?
The truth is that women tend to be attracted to certain personality traits and so, naturally, they flock to the men who possess them.
Below are seven of these 'ideal types' of guys that women are drawn to, and an explanation as to why these guys are so appealing to them. But don't freak out or permanently alter your personality if you don't fit into any of these categories exactly -women will see right through that.
Ideally, you should exude some traits from each of these different categories; in fact, you probably already do. With a quick perusal of the list below, you should be in much better shape to understand what women are looking for, and most importantly, to make sure that you fit the bill.
1. The Romantic Guy
He believes in classic romance. He is constantly bringing her flowers and chocolate and lighting candles during dinner. He calls her often to let her know he is thinking about her, and looks into her eyes and tells her how he feels.
Why he is so irresistible: A woman loves to feel appreciated, and the romantic guy makes this happen. He uses romantic gestures to show her he is thinking about her. As an added bonus, she feels free to reciprocate and act on her own romantic tendencies.
2. The Confident Guy
He is totally secure and sure of himself. He is assertive in public, and gives off an aura of power and control (within reason, of course, as the "cocky guy" is not on this list). In a relationship, he doesn't get jealous of other men; he doesn't feel threatened by his girlfriend's male friends or coworkers.
Why he is so irresistible: Women are attracted to confident men. Consider this: If you think you are great, she will probably be influenced to think the same. The confident man doesn't seek approval from women, and this makes them want him even more.
3. The Artistic Guy
The artistic guy is spontaneous and lives for the moment. Often, he will use his creativity to woo her, such as with a song he has written about her or a painting he has made for her.
Why he is so irresistible: Every woman wants to feel unique and special. And there is no better way to make her feel this way than to use her as your muse, or your source of inspiration. She is intrigued by the artistic guy's creative mind, and especially by the way he incorporates her into his art.
Charismatic, rebellious, smart, and considerate guys all get the girl...
4. The Foreign Guy
He comes from a faraway exotic country; he might have a cute accent or a unique way of seeing the world. His social customs and everyday behavior can be a little quirky, but he always manages to come off as uniquely charming. Note that you don't have to actually be foreign to fit into this category. If you are well-traveled or speak many languages, you might be able to pull off the charm as well as any sweet-talking foreigner.
Why he is so irresistible: Charisma, charisma and charisma. There's not much more I can say about this one; it's just that mysterious je ne sais quoi that is so alluring. Women often choose this kind of guy if they are curious about the world, but most of the appeal comes down to a fascination with dating someone from another culture.
5. The Free Spirit Guy (a.k.a. The Bad Boy)
The Free Spirit Guy goes where the wind takes him, and the wind usually takes him on some kind of wacky adventure. He might ride a motorcycle, or he might skip work to take her on a last-minute road trip. But this guy doesn't worry too much about the consequences; he just sees where his own devices take him.
Why he is so irresistible: Every woman wants a bit of a rebel (within reason, of course). She loves his carefree attitude and hopes that it will rub off on her too. The bad boy spirit adds an element of youthfulness to the relationship and she loves to try taming him - although she knows she'll never actually succeed.
6. The Intelligent/Witty Guy
He instigates conversations that are intellectually stimulating and listens to what she has to say in response. He makes her laugh with his clever sense of humor and has an uncanny ability to make politics interesting. He can shoot the breeze with her for hours and it will never get boring.
Why he is so irresistible: As time goes on, your hairline may recede and your buff body may soften, but if you can keep her interested, you've won half the battle. An intellectual connection is a big part of what sustains a relationship, and if you can show her that you've got that, she'll be hooked pretty quickly.
7. The Considerate Guy
He holds open her car door and pulls out her chair. He foots the bill for dinner and makes sure to offer her dessert. He always asks her out with reasonable notice and picks her up at her door. He is generally sensitive to how she is feeling and when she is ready to go home.
Why he is so irresistible: Surprised? You probably think that nice, considerate guys never get the woman, but consider this: Once a woman has gone through her share of the bad guy, the rude guy and the not-calling-her-back guy, she will likely reevaluate her priorities. It takes a bit of maturity on her part to realize this, but eventually, most girls come around and realize that they want a guy who will treat them well in the long run.
A word of caution
Don't take any of these character types to the extreme or try to be someone you're not - it will be way too obvious.
The key to success here is to keep in mind why women like the character traits outlined above and what kind of gestures they appreciate. Then, mix them up and see which of these traits and gestures you are most comfortable with. With just a little bit of effort, you'll be able to find more than a few irresistible qualities within yourself - and accordingly, she'll be easily wooed by your newfound individuality.
Now isn't that worth your time, buddy?
