Spankin' DA Monkey - Dave Avran's blog: Why Do Women Go To Nightclubs

"You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you." - Anonymous

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Why Do Women Go To Nightclubs - A Guide For Clueless Guys.

I’ve been a busy little bee since my post last week, going to various clubs and talking to several of my close female friends to come up with this week’s follow-up article. This after being 24 years in the hospitality and clubbing business. Sheesh!

The nightclub. Several rooms full of bustling babes, bass-filled tunes shaking the dance floor, and lights that make every person look great. Ahh... the nightclub. You love to go there with your buddies, you love to watch the scenery, but you're not sure why women go to nightclubs if you've never left with one, or have never even met a decent one.

There must be more to nightclubs than going out with your friends and just gawking at women; why would women dress to impress in what looks like uncomfortable knee-high boots, if they were just there to be with the gals?

Well, what I'm about to impart should come as no newsflash. Women do go to nightclubs for various reasons. But if you think they all want to be approached just because every woman is letting her hair down and wearing tight black pants, then you need to get back to the end of the line, where the only person you'll be making conversation with is the bouncer.

According to the women I polled, there are 3 main reasons why women go to nightclubs:

1-- To meet men - 64%
2-- To see what happens - 21%
3-- To have fun - 12 %
4-- Other (boyfriend, on a date) - 3%

Now while this seems as obvious as why Kid Rock (or any man alive) is bonking Pamela Anderson, it's not so evident for the thousands of men who crowd KL’s nightclubs. Trust me, I know. Read last week’s post on how I fuc*ed up big time.

Men may realize that women are there to meet someone special, but their problem is that they approach the wrong type of woman, they go about it the wrong way, and, after a couple of drinks - they assume that any woman wants to go home with them.

It's this erroneous assumption that makes club-going men the world over frustrated when they leave a nightclub empty-handed (so to speak), no matter how well their hair is gelled and how much their biceps are popping out of their shirt.

what are your chances?

If you know that 64% of the women swaying their hips to The Black Eyed Peas’ "Don’t Phunk With Me" are looking to meet men, and another 21% are there in order to "see where the night takes them, without having any expectations," then you know you have a way in.

The ones who are going there purely for fun usually have boyfriends, and are dancing away at the club while their men are congregated at someone's house drinking beer and watching the EPL match.

Even the small percentage of women that claim they're at the bar "purely to have fun," and are single, are looking for a man. They may not be actively looking, but if the right guy approaches them at a nightclub in the right manner, he has a chance.

Keep in mind that if most women in nightclubs are open to a relationship, it doesn't mean they are necessarily on the prowl -- it only means that they are "open" to the idea, and can be reeled in if you use the right bait.

Armed with this information, it's up to you to spot those who are there for the party, and those who are there for the afterparty ..

The types of females you'll find in nightclubs...

The perched peacock

This woman is at the nightclub to attract attention, but doesn't plan to go home with anyone. She dresses in very sexy, revealing clothes, and dances seductively. She's the one most likely to be dancing alone on the dance floor while her friends are chatting with others, or sitting at the bar alone, sipping her Vodka Orange. She's usually accompanied by two or three friends, never one other friend, because once she's at the club, she goes her own way. She thrives on the attention males give her, but will never acknowledge it.

Approachability: 10%

How to approach her: Never compliment her or give her attention; be cool and collected and make your presence known by approaching her in a casual manner. Ask her for the time or a lighter (if she's smoking), and then don't say anything.

The bloodhound

The bloodhound is out to get you. She is ready to approach men who interest her, and will have no qualms about asking men to dance, or starting up a conversation with them. She usually dresses seductively; she's pleased with her appearance and thinks men are too, and the way she dresses reflects just this. You'll find her dancing on the speaker or on stage, or among a group of men. She travels in packs; she may be with just one other girlfriend, and chances are those in her circle are similar to her. She's ready to go home with you, but she's not relationship material.

Approachability: 90%

How to approach her: If she doesn't approach you first, simply ask her to dance. Don't offer to buy her a drink, since she's probably getting drinks from many men.

The one you can approach, the one to stay away from...

The galloping deer

This woman is confident, attractive, and sexy in a subtle way. She wears anything from tight pants or a skirt with high boots, to halter tops or button-down blouses. She wanders about the nightclub ready to meet men and she wants their attention, but she's subtler and more innocent. She's usually the good-looking one who's standing with her girlfriends (usually a group of 2 or more) while making eye contact with a man; at a bar ordering a drink when a man she's interested in is standing there; or dancing with her girlfriends. She wants to have fun with her girlfriends, but she's also on the scene, working her thing in an obscure manner. She tends to be shy, but likes the attention men give her and she's ready to talk to a man who doesn't seem sleazy.

Approachability: 75%

How to approach her: Compliment her on her purse or ask her how the martinis are. Be subtle, and approach her without making it seem like you're picking her up.

The lioness

This is the woman who is already taken by the lion. She's at a club with her boyfriend for a night of dancing and drinking. You'll find her on the arm of her man.

Approachability: 5%

How to approach her: The only way you'll succeed is if her boyfriend leaves her alone for most of the night, and she's flirting with you by making eye contact (and a friend of yours can vouch for that). Approach her only if her boyfriend isn't bigger than you, or if you have a friend that can back you up if things get ugly. Not recommended if you like the way your face looks currently.

so, do you stand a chance?

Knowing how to pick up women in a nightclub is one thing; knowing whom to approach is another. If the lady you've been eyeing all night seems to be swinging out with her sisters on the dance floor, remember that there's a very good chance she's single and waiting for someone like you to approach her. This is why you shouldn't hesitate when approaching her. Even if she is one of those women who goes out because her boyfriend is out with the boys, pick yourself up and approach her whenever the timing is right, and break the ice. She'll let you know if she's already attached.

But if you know that at least 85% of women who are at a nightclub are ready to meet someone, and another 12% are open to the idea if you approach them the right way, then you have a 9 in 10 chance of meeting a woman -- the rest is all up to you.

Posted by: Dave Avran / 4:39 PM

Comments:

waiyo. very confusing. one week you're miising the bus on women and this week you're an expert.

- the stoned musician

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:25 PM

Hello bradder, whafor all this psychology? come to my stall and buy a spray for RM50 and any woman will follow you home - guarantee man.

- Ah Choy
stall no 81
Petaling Street

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:28 PM

Oi! when u bcame an expert on women? can't even score 2 save your life! hee hee.

Rodney

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:39 PM

Interesting survey on the women. All i thought was they wanted guys to buy them drinks while they looked out for husband material fellas to walk on by.

k foo

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:01 PM

hello bradder,

write about something else lah. this subject is getting boring.

catherine

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:31 PM

As long as you Asian dudes remain clueless whiteys like us will always score with your women - they're right there for the picking. You guys are pathetic.

- P Cunningham

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:34 PM

Those are some hotties in the pictures but their faces look strangely familiar...

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:48 PM

Dood.. u forgot The Fugly's..

Those who looks at us sexy guys drooling wishing they had a chance for just one night and willing to lick the spilt Hennessy of your shoes spilt initially coincidentally by the cockstand u got when u saw The Perched Peacock.. hehehe..

haichwoo..

# posted by

Joe Frigg : 8:16 PM

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Saturday, August 27, 2005

Why Do Women Go To Nightclubs - A Guide For Clueless Guys.