ADAM, EVE & THEIR BLASTED APPLE

Intro:

This started off as an sms I sent to some of my closest buddies, some pretty sharp lawyer type females included and their subsequent replies and hilarious add-on comments escalated into this post.

Some guys were sitting at their favourite mamak stall, drinking Tongkat Ali teh tarik kurang manis and the topic turned to Adam and Eve. The Chinese guy said they must have been Chinese because they kept calm and didn’t panic when they saw the snake.

The Malay guy said “Bullshit! You Chinamen would have eaten the bloody snake, drank the blood, made aphrodisiacs of the remains and belts out of the skin and sold the apple” Adam and Eve must have been Malays because they were so good looking.

“Nonsense” said the Indian. “You Malay fellows would have quickly organized a gotong royong, caught the snake, sold it to the Chinese, covered Eve up from head to toe and sent her to a religious boarding school and made rojak buah out of the apple. Adam and Eve were not only Indian, they were definitely Malaysian Indians.

By now the others could not resist and took the bait. “How lah?” they asked.

“Look at the facts,” said the Indian “they had no shelter, no clothes, had to share one miserable apple, were advised by a snake and then told that they live in Paradise!”

On another note, lately I seem to be surrounded by relationship dramas of “he said, she said”. These days I’m so obsessed with blogging, I thought why not share my thoughts with you - my own theory about Adam, Eve and their blasted apple.

Even people who don’t believe in religion are familiar with Adam and Eve right? I trust you won't go all judgmental on me but read with a pinch of salt. Pinch of belacan also can if salt not available.

Prologue

Eve forces Adam out of the garden of Eden in Heaven…

Story Begins…

He never forgave her for it and neither have the generations of men following. Their collective consciousness, as I like to think of it, still harbors both unconscious and conscious resentment of all Eves.

Everything that went wrong in their life is traced back to a woman, from a crappy boss to a bad job to a miserable life – it is all her fault as after all it was a woman who displaced the prince from the throne, wasn’t it?

All this trouble for one measly apple?

But of course it wasn’t really about the apple was it?

Eve didn’t really care about the apple. It didn’t matter whether it was sweet or sour and she didn’t particularly want to eat it either. She wanted to see if she could make Adam have it… prove his love for her, so to speak. Then came the snake ssslithering in…

The apple was never really the issue - the issue was power - hers over him.

The Story Continues...

And to this day the same story continues. All relationships are power games, some very subtle and running totally undercover and others not so subtle. There are apples all around disguised in so many shapes and forms, some cajoling, some slyly persuading and others outright shoving it down someone’s throat. The name of the snake in this story is power a.k.a control

In the beginning the power issue is covered by the headiness of new love, couples lost in the hazy glow of love, ecstatic with euphoria, which they insist on sharing with all and sundry in unabashed displays of public affection. So what if 6 months down the road we have our slithery friend rear its smooth, triangular cold blooded and fanged head?

Of course those in that particular phase of love will shake their heads disdainfully and say that I am just jealous – but you’ll see what I mean. It happens to everyone, even to those happily married. Power and its distribution is what makes everything run.

The human race is all about 'survive or perish' and to survive we need power – either to relinquish all of it or to wield it. Not to digress from the topic of relationship [how the hell did we get here anyway?] of men, women and power … basically we repeat and relive the Adam and Eve saga with bizarre twists, plots and storylines

The Adam who likes to think he is in control but isn’t meets the Eve who actually is

In this case our Adam likes to think he has the power and is a forceful, dominating person but actually isn’t. If humans behaved rationally he would be attracted to an Eve who would cajole, feed and flatter him, and make a nice pie out of that apple, dusted with a little icing sugar and cinnamon… he would do anything for her – you could maybe even find him putting the toilet seat down and helping with the household chores. But I think I digress and I'm getting too fanciful here...

All he needs is a couple of massages, nicely cooked meals (not necessarily every day), compliments, and to be made to feel like he is indeed the king of the castle. But of course human nature being perverse there are far more chances that he will be attracted to an altogether different sort of Eve... the one that means business. No flattery or massages here.

She won’t let him get away with pretending he is running the show... its equality or nothing. Apple sliced down straight in the middle, so to speak. Of course initially poor Adam huffs and puffs trying to bring the house down... he shouts and throws a tantrum but she throws a bigger, pms driven one…

There are other scenarios…

Control Freak Eve and an even more controlling Adam. Passive Aggressive Eve and a slightly dominating Adam

But their tales can wait, for I can hear my mother calling me to eat my apple now.

Posted by: Dave Avran / 2:54 PM