I have been saying it all along. Now there’s concrete proof of my Chinawimmen conspiracy. Last night stunning 23-year-old Zhang Zi Lin wowed the home crowd to become China's first-ever Miss World at the 57th edition of the annual beauty pageant.

Now you can all stop laughing at me and take note. China is actively engaged in a long term plan for world domination in a furtive manner through its females. Mark my words gentlemen, Chinawimmen are taking over the world, one man at a time.

Still don’t believe me? They have integrated themselves into every country and every culture worldwide. Look around you – they’ve married into every family in Malaysia. There’s at least one of them in each family - be it Malay, Indian, Eurasian, East Malaysian or Ethnic, buried under deep cover as sleeper agents waiting for instructions from Beijing.

My sources indicate that the catalyst for activating their “terminator” status is the sound of dollar notes being flipped, played over their handphones.

If you come to your senses and realise the seriousness of your predicament and decide to get rid of your Chinawoman, you can take advantage of my free Chinawimmen disposal service*. Just send me an email or sms or in case of emergency give me a call and I’ll immediately remove the offending creature for FREE as soon as you sign the transfer of ownership form. (Borang Pemindahan Hak Milik)

You have been warned.

* Terms and conditions apply – Chinawimmen must be between the ages of 18 – 35 and be in good physical condition.