For those of you who just surfed to this channel, a short re-cap: I had been on a daily heavy dose of steroids since 2004, to correct a nerve disorder. Early this year I switched to alternative medicine and found out that the steroid did not repair my damaged nerves, it merely covered up my condition and allowed me to function "normally" under a false sense of security.

In Nov 2006 my sister Moni "kidnapped" me from my apartment and took me into her home to look after me upon learning of my blurred vision. One of her fellow teachers introduced me to Dr Wong, who specialises in alternative medicine, and Saroja. Dr Wong made me gradually stop the steroids as the side effects were terrible, causing weight gain, glaucoma and cataracts. As I reduced the steroids my body jammed up proportionally and It was only then that I realised the extent of the damage.

Long story short, I have been confined to bed for a year as my body is jammed up . To make things worse, I could not see clearly, not even dial my handphone or read text messages, check my email or read the newspaper. I had to depend heavily on my 13 year old nephew Amrin. Most of the time he obliged me without any complaint but ocassionally If he happened to be in a foul mood he'd screw me up by saying he'd attend to me later. For one year my life depended on the whims and fancies of a 13 year old kid. However, all said and done Amrin's been an angel and I bless him everyday in my prayers.

Try this simple experiment - close your eyes for 5 minutes and try to navigate your way around your house. Imagine doing that while you're in pain from a jammed up lower back, jammed up knees and numb hands and legs. Now imagine living that for a year. I was forced to drop out of the social scene and hibernate.

Its not been all bad, though. Being in this condition gave me plenty of solitude and I regressed into my mind, reliving memories and evaluating my life with the benefit of hindsight and a stone cold sober mind. Did you know that abstaining from alcohol makes your mind sharper, clearer and faster? I also found out who were my true friends as a few of them took the trouble to track me down and visit me, while some others kept in touch via phone. The majority however, couldn't be bothered to find out if I was still alive. It was mostly my blog readers who sent an avalanche of emails and sms-es demanding to know why I'd stopped writing. Ahhh...isn't life beautiful?

I lost 66 kg in weight. I learned to be patient and to accept life as it comes, virtues that I had been sadly lacking in. Convinced by another of my sister's friends, I also went back to religion and started praying again. Nothing spurs you back to GOD so quickly like being in trouble.

So after two delays I finally had my left eye operated on 26 Oct. at the Selayang Medical Centre. I must commend the Doctors and nurses for a job well done. They were dedicated, caring and truly professional, explaining in detail what they were doing at every step. However I was a little disappointed at the eye bandage removal. Perhaps I've been conditioned by television...but I fully expected the Doctor to carefully remove the eye patch and then I would blurt out in wonderment "I can see! I can see!".

It was 6am 20 hours after my op and the staff nurse comes to my bedside and starts to fiddle with the bandage. I expected her to clean my eye. Instead she unceremoniously rips off the eye patch and asks me " Can you see me?". I went *blink*blink* and said "uhh yes" and that was it. Off we went to read the eye charts. I was photophobic for a while as everything was super clear and bright in my left eye. They had removed my original lens and replaced it with a synthetic one which returned my vision to normal 2020 without me having to use my glasses ever again. Yay! no more contact lenses. My right eye is scheduled for 24 Nov.

Having put on my wrap around dark glasses, I started to read the instruction booklet that came with my new lens. If you think I'm lying at this point, I don't blame you as I was equally incredulous. The first page goes like this: Thank you for purchasing an Alcon Acrysof Intraocular lens. Your Alcon Acrysof Intraocular lens will give you years of trouble free vision with minimum maintenance and care. You will be able to live a normal life and carry out sporting activities like swimming and playing racquet games. If you feel any eye irritation please refrain from scratching your eye with your finger as your nail may damage your new lens. Use the corner of a clean soft handkerchief. Do not attempt to remove your new lens on your own under any circumstances - consult a qualified eyecare practioner.

At this point I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face and I had to stop for fear of damaging my brand new Alcon Acrysof Intraocular lens. My Mother called shortly after to enquire about my op and she was shocked that the patch was off so fast. "What's the first thing that you saw clearly after so long?" she demanded. "An ugly old Chinawoman staffnurse" I answered truthfully. My poor Mother went ballistic. "you and your blasted Chinawimmen! Sick and half dead also Chinawimmen, Chinawimmen! Can you for once forget about them ah?" she wailed pitifully. So much for honesty. I never learn, do I?

I know this maiden post is rather boring, but its something I had to get off my chest. I promise to return to my sparkling self next week. Till then, Happy Deepavali everyone.