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"You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you." - Anonymous
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Tortured!
I’ve just come back from a week in torture camp.
My friend Jack Choo took me to a Qi Gong center in Cheras run by a 78 year old master (Sifu) who was trained at the famous Shaolin Temple in China. “Shut your mouth and let him do the talking” Jack advised. I nodded silently, my mouth already shut for once in my life.
Sifu took my right hand and read my pulse, all the while shaking his head negatively and clucking ominously like a chicken with the HVN5 virus. “Your condition is very bad” he finally said “nerves all jammed up, body shaking and weak. The western medicine is no good for you. If you had delayed seeing me for another few months you will be bed-ridden”
Holy cow! He was spot on, and I hadn’t said a word at all. Sifu then whipped out a can of Vaseline cream (cream, not the petroleum jelly made famous by Anwar Ibrahim) from his drawer and started to trace the main nerve of my right hand upwards.
He found a block in my bicep, and I could actually feel it too. He then started to “break” the blockage by massaging it in a circular motion with his thumb. He didn’t use any physical force or pressure – rather, he applied his internal “chi” (life force). The pain was so great that I wanted to piss and shit and fart and cum all at the same time.
Long story short, Sifu asked me to check into the center and he drew up a regimen for me – a complete body massage every 2nd day to break up the nerve blockages and Qi Gong exercises the alternate days to regain my strength. I could not consume any beer, Chinese tea, ice cubes, peanuts, long beans and white radish He also gave me pure ginseng tablets to swallow.
Man, I tell you the massages were farkin painful. If you had asked me my name during the massage I probably would have forgotten it. The picture above is only of my arm. My whole body is blue black, but guess what? It bloody works. I felt better from the 2nd day onwards.
My martial arts background came in handy as I robotically performed the strenuous Qi Gong exercises. I’m still stiff as a tree but improving with every treatment, especially my back which has been continuously “jammed” for the last 2 years. It's massage every 3 days at the moment and follow-up treatment later to maintain the status quo.
So if you see me and I look like I’ve been tortured in Lebanon, - now you know.
My friend Jack Choo took me to a Qi Gong center in Cheras run by a 78 year old master (Sifu) who was trained at the famous Shaolin Temple in China. “Shut your mouth and let him do the talking” Jack advised. I nodded silently, my mouth already shut for once in my life.
Sifu took my right hand and read my pulse, all the while shaking his head negatively and clucking ominously like a chicken with the HVN5 virus. “Your condition is very bad” he finally said “nerves all jammed up, body shaking and weak. The western medicine is no good for you. If you had delayed seeing me for another few months you will be bed-ridden”
Holy cow! He was spot on, and I hadn’t said a word at all. Sifu then whipped out a can of Vaseline cream (cream, not the petroleum jelly made famous by Anwar Ibrahim) from his drawer and started to trace the main nerve of my right hand upwards.
He found a block in my bicep, and I could actually feel it too. He then started to “break” the blockage by massaging it in a circular motion with his thumb. He didn’t use any physical force or pressure – rather, he applied his internal “chi” (life force). The pain was so great that I wanted to piss and shit and fart and cum all at the same time.
Long story short, Sifu asked me to check into the center and he drew up a regimen for me – a complete body massage every 2nd day to break up the nerve blockages and Qi Gong exercises the alternate days to regain my strength. I could not consume any beer, Chinese tea, ice cubes, peanuts, long beans and white radish He also gave me pure ginseng tablets to swallow.
Man, I tell you the massages were farkin painful. If you had asked me my name during the massage I probably would have forgotten it. The picture above is only of my arm. My whole body is blue black, but guess what? It bloody works. I felt better from the 2nd day onwards.
My martial arts background came in handy as I robotically performed the strenuous Qi Gong exercises. I’m still stiff as a tree but improving with every treatment, especially my back which has been continuously “jammed” for the last 2 years. It's massage every 3 days at the moment and follow-up treatment later to maintain the status quo.
So if you see me and I look like I’ve been tortured in Lebanon, - now you know.
Comments:
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Eh? Is it for real? Coz I've been looking for a place where they do Qi Gong....
Let me know the details and I'll see if I'll end up in the same pain?
Nim
U got my number
Let me know the details and I'll see if I'll end up in the same pain?
Nim
U got my number
#
posted by 
: 8:52 AM
: 8:52 AM Dude, I hope you get better soon. Saw Ricky the other day and we worried about you. Here's my best wishes. Tell me if there's anything I can do to help.
Pete Teo
Pete Teo
#
posted by : 2:01 PM
: 2:01 PM Dude, I hope you get better soon. Saw Ricky the other day and we worried about you. Here's my best wishes. Tell me if there's anything I can do to help.
Pete Teo
Pete Teo
#
posted by : 2:01 PM
: 2:01 PM hey sweety, glad this is working out for you. so I hope when I come back we can go bungee jumping or something...
Reggie
Post a Comment Reggie
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posted by : 9:17 PM
: 9:17 PM<< Home
