About Me
Links
- lifestyle blog
- ryze
- friendster
Skype: daveavran
Google Talk: dave.avran
Windows Live: dave_avran
Email: dave.avran@gmail.com
Archives
- 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
- 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
- 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
- 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
- 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
- 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
- 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
- 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
- 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
- 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
- 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
- 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
- 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
- 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
- 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
- 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
- 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
- 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
- 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
- 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
- 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
- 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
- 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
- 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
- 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
- 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
- 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
- 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
- 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
- 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
- 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
- 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
- 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
- 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
- 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
- 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
- 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
- 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
- 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
"You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you." - Anonymous
Monday, July 31, 2006
You are enjoying your first meal together and everything seems to be going in your favor. That is, until you let a comment slip about your latest vacation romance. Suddenly, everything goes sour and you wonder to yourself, what went wrong?
There are certain subjects that you should absolutely avoid bringing up on a date. If you enter a serious relationship with a woman, these topics will come up eventually, but for the time being, consider the following five topics taboo for the first few dates with a woman.
1 - Your vices
Why it’s taboo: Treat your first few dates with a woman as you would a job interview -- you wouldn’t want her to find out anything about you that would make you seem unreliable in the long run. So steer clear of any talk of your smoking, binge drinking and any other iniquitous behavior. Essentially, don’t bring up anything that she might construe as a bad habit of yours. Of course, you will have to come clean in the long run (or she’ll just figure it out on her own), but keep these to yourself for the first few dates.
2 - Money
Why it’s taboo: The motto when it comes to money is “show, don’t tell.” Talking about any financial issues with a woman early on is considered tacky. This includes all references to your salary, the kind of car you drive and how much you pay for your rent or mortgage. While you may think that your financial status will enhance your appeal to women, it’s better if she learns about your financial status in more subtle ways.
For example, picking her up in a nice car comes across much better than telling her that you drive a nice car. Or if you’d like her to know that you’re a big spender, make sure to pay for an extravagant dinner. Women consider a guy to be classy if he’s quiet about his earnings because it shows that he doesn’t need to prove himself, he is just confident with the way he is.
Believe it or not, women don't want you to talk about your future together.
3 - Past conquests
Why it’s taboo: You might think that if she knows you are a man in demand, you will be more desirable, however, telling her about your past dating experiences is not only boring for her, but it makes you sound like a player as well. Unless she asks a direct question on the subject, avoid all talk of your past conquests. This includes all exes, past flings and one-night stands.
4 - Your ailments
Why it’s taboo: If the only thing you can think of to tell her about yourself is that you have a knee, wrist or hip problem, you really need to brush up on your conversational skills. It’s not that you have to hide your ailments specifically; they are generally not deal breakers anyway. But on your first few dates with a woman, you only have a short amount of time to impress her. So if you spend half an hour complaining about your various medical conditions, she is going to think you’re a weak, self-pitying whiner.
5 - The future
Why it’s taboo: Yes, women generally want men that are serious minded and thinking about the future. But they don’t want crazy and clingy men either.
There’s a fine balance between coming across as independent and still showing you’re looking to hook up with her. If, on the second date you start talking about how many kids you want or the trip you’ll take together, you’ll come across as too needy and you could end up scaring her off. Do talk about the future once you are actually in a relationship, but hold off until that point.
bite your tongue
Of course there are women who are off tangent, like the one who told me I over complimented her after our 1st meal together. She had a problem with that and said that she needed time to digest everything I’d said.
To be honest, I was just telling the plain truth. She had a lot of good qualities and I merely pointed them out, but not to the point of overkill. I’m sure of that. Still, it led to an awkwardness which should not have occurred.
You will need to walk on eggshells with women like these because they will pick your sentences apart and analyse them for compliments, which they will then be hard put to accept. So what do you do in situations like these? You have to make an executive decision – are they worth the trouble?
The first few dates with a woman are all about giving her a good impression. Of course you have faults, we all do, but you don’t need to point them out to her right off the bat. So if you’re careful to avoid the taboo topics listed above, your first few dates should be smooth sailing.
There are certain subjects that you should absolutely avoid bringing up on a date. If you enter a serious relationship with a woman, these topics will come up eventually, but for the time being, consider the following five topics taboo for the first few dates with a woman.
1 - Your vices
Why it’s taboo: Treat your first few dates with a woman as you would a job interview -- you wouldn’t want her to find out anything about you that would make you seem unreliable in the long run. So steer clear of any talk of your smoking, binge drinking and any other iniquitous behavior. Essentially, don’t bring up anything that she might construe as a bad habit of yours. Of course, you will have to come clean in the long run (or she’ll just figure it out on her own), but keep these to yourself for the first few dates.
2 - Money
Why it’s taboo: The motto when it comes to money is “show, don’t tell.” Talking about any financial issues with a woman early on is considered tacky. This includes all references to your salary, the kind of car you drive and how much you pay for your rent or mortgage. While you may think that your financial status will enhance your appeal to women, it’s better if she learns about your financial status in more subtle ways.
For example, picking her up in a nice car comes across much better than telling her that you drive a nice car. Or if you’d like her to know that you’re a big spender, make sure to pay for an extravagant dinner. Women consider a guy to be classy if he’s quiet about his earnings because it shows that he doesn’t need to prove himself, he is just confident with the way he is.
Believe it or not, women don't want you to talk about your future together.
3 - Past conquests
Why it’s taboo: You might think that if she knows you are a man in demand, you will be more desirable, however, telling her about your past dating experiences is not only boring for her, but it makes you sound like a player as well. Unless she asks a direct question on the subject, avoid all talk of your past conquests. This includes all exes, past flings and one-night stands.
4 - Your ailments
Why it’s taboo: If the only thing you can think of to tell her about yourself is that you have a knee, wrist or hip problem, you really need to brush up on your conversational skills. It’s not that you have to hide your ailments specifically; they are generally not deal breakers anyway. But on your first few dates with a woman, you only have a short amount of time to impress her. So if you spend half an hour complaining about your various medical conditions, she is going to think you’re a weak, self-pitying whiner.
5 - The future
Why it’s taboo: Yes, women generally want men that are serious minded and thinking about the future. But they don’t want crazy and clingy men either.
There’s a fine balance between coming across as independent and still showing you’re looking to hook up with her. If, on the second date you start talking about how many kids you want or the trip you’ll take together, you’ll come across as too needy and you could end up scaring her off. Do talk about the future once you are actually in a relationship, but hold off until that point.
bite your tongue
Of course there are women who are off tangent, like the one who told me I over complimented her after our 1st meal together. She had a problem with that and said that she needed time to digest everything I’d said.
To be honest, I was just telling the plain truth. She had a lot of good qualities and I merely pointed them out, but not to the point of overkill. I’m sure of that. Still, it led to an awkwardness which should not have occurred.
You will need to walk on eggshells with women like these because they will pick your sentences apart and analyse them for compliments, which they will then be hard put to accept. So what do you do in situations like these? You have to make an executive decision – are they worth the trouble?
The first few dates with a woman are all about giving her a good impression. Of course you have faults, we all do, but you don’t need to point them out to her right off the bat. So if you’re careful to avoid the taboo topics listed above, your first few dates should be smooth sailing.
