Before You Fall In Love/After You Fall In Love

H: You take my breath away
S: I feel like I’m suffocating

S: I love the way you take charge of the situation.
S: you’re controlling, demanding and manipulative.

H: Saturday Night Fever
H: Monday Night Football

S: Ohhh! Don’t Stop !
S: Jesus ! Don’t Start !

H: Is that all you’re having ?
S: You’re having salad.

H: You’re a dream come true
S: You’re living in a dream

H: We agree on everything
S: He doesn’t have a brain

S: He’s charming & noble
S: He’s as charming as Chernobyl.

H: She’s my idol. I worship her every little action.
S: He’s bloody idle. I have to whip him into action.

H: I love your curves
H: You’re not fat, honey. (Repeat this mantra continuously 24/7 for inner peace)

H: I’m lost without you
S: He’s got no direction

H: Time stood still
S: Move your f*cking ass!

H: Wine, Oysters & Stars
H: Whine, Tempers & Wars

H: I can’t believe we found each other.
S: I cant believe I ended up with a loser like you.

H: Hot and heavy passion
H: Mortgage & credit ration

H: Why don’t you buy both?
H: Aargh! New dress again?

H: Let me be your hero
S: You’re nothing but a zero

H: I lurve you sooooo much
H: Huh? What? Yeah, I love You too, honey. GOOAAAALLLL!!!

Guess who's been feeling a little neurotic lately ? Tina Turner was absolutely right – what’s love got to do with it ? If I come across like a cynical and bitter bastard, you can thank the women who have shaped my life until 2003. I haven’t allowed any female to get close to me since then. It's a long story for another day...