Yes yes, I know. You’ve been left in peace for the last two months as I’ve been busy setting up the Sugar Club. Well, the set-up’s complete and it’s been handed over to the proud owners to operate, so I’m currently jobless and free to harass and harangue you all with my very own hypnotic brand of horse (non)sense. A long drawn out Neeeeeeeigggghhhh!

You don’t need me to tell you that there are such disgusting things as Malaysians using the aid relief centers as dumping grounds, conmen keeping donations for themselves, war-profiteers, tragedy-milkers, tsunami victim-rapists and body snatchers.

Exploitation is rife – “helpers” who exploit victims, "victims" who exploit helpers, politicians and officials who exploit everyone - have surfaced along with the thousands of missing bodies. Some religious organizations are also exploiting the catastrophe to preach holy wrath.

However, what I want to discuss today is one of my favourite topics and it is something I frequently bitch about in this blog – the ugly Malaysian.

Well, the Star has not only admitted that this malaise exists but taken it a step further by running a competition! Kudos to the Star for highlighting something that’s been so bloody obvious.

So here goes - Dave’s version of the ugly Malaysian:

Malaysians can be very rude at times. We are familiar with criminal behaviour such as handbag snatching and rape that grieves us all. Here is your chance to rank the following situations in the order of what you consider to be the most rude (1 being the most rude).

• Not saying “Thank You” after the crime
• Using unnecessary excessive force
• Introducing your face/head to the brick/tar pavement
• Not saying “Sorry” after the crime
• people in public pretending they don’t see you in danger
• Taking excessive time to commit the dastardly deed, prolonging your suffering
• Littering the road with your belongings
• Disregard for human life
• Smoking while committing the act
• Spitting in the face of the law
• Using your hand phone to call you to demand a reward for your documents
• Not having any consideration for the elderly, disabled or pregnant women
• Not responding to your pleas for mercy
• Cutting you up for not giving up your belongings fast enough
• Using too large a knife or parang, scaring the shit out of you
• The police adding to your misery with their compete apathy

You may absolutely hate me after reading the above, but admit it – it’s a sobering thought, isn’t it?

It’s also bloody scary, isn’t it?

Think about it.

Posted by: Dave Avran / 3:52 PM