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"You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you." - Anonymous
Thursday, May 27, 2004
HO HUM…JUST ANOTHER DAY IN MALAYSIA
Let me share a template with you. Just delete whichever does not apply to you in particular.
1.Malaysians are troubled by certain problems and issues:
their womenfolk are unsafe due to purse snatching/robbery/
rape/kidnapping/forced into vice
road rage and road bullying incidents
child abandonment and/or abuse
maids mistreating children/stealing/running away/being abused
cheating cases like miraculous stones,unscrupulous salesmen,
get rich quick schemes/the dropped money or punctured
tyre money grab
fill in your favourite grouse here
2. Malaysians take some form of action:
write to the newspapers
bitch to their friends
pass the news along on the net and via sms
3. The authorities (Govt/Police/Bomba/Local Council/fill in the
blank):
take absolutely no action
do not respond
respond but take no action
make promises (it’s an election year) but there’s no follow-up
pass the buck, referring you from one dept to another
4. Malaysians give a collective sigh, shrug and go back to their
daily lives.
5. A few months later, someone tragically dies from:
purse snatching/robbery/rape/kidnapping/forced into vice
road rage and road bullying incidents
child abandonment and/or abuse
maids mistreating children/stealing/running away/being abused
cheating cases like miraculous stones, unscrupulous salesmen,
get rich quick schemes/the dropped money or punctured
tyre money grab
fill in your favourite grouse here
6. The media picks it up, smells a circulation winner, and goes
haywire:
You can’t open a newspaper, switch on the radio or tv without
reading/hearing/seeing the gory details in all their
sensationalised exaggeration.
Anyone remotely connected with the case, for example the
victim’s aunty’s 3rd husband’s nephew-in-law’s dentist’s
mistress’ regular car wash guy, P. Soapyshampoosamy @
Sam, 32, from Brickfields, will get his picture taken and his
15 minutes of fame in the press as he recalls in detail how
he once washed the victim’s father’s car in 1978 when she
was 3 years old.
7. The authorities (Govt/Police/Bomba/Local Council/fill in the
blank)feel the pressure as Malaysians join in the media
circus like lemmings and express their outrage at the
tragic and unnecessary death:
Miraculously, the chief of (fill in the blank) suddenly finds
renewed vigour in his job description as the head of a
public service dept and declares WAR on
(fill in the blank)in a hastily organized prèss conference.
A number of token arrests are made and splashed all over the
media
8. two months later, everything dies down and Malaysians give a
collective sigh, shrug and go back to their daily lives.
Until the next tragic, completely unnecessary
death.
1.Malaysians are troubled by certain problems and issues:
their womenfolk are unsafe due to purse snatching/robbery/
rape/kidnapping/forced into vice
road rage and road bullying incidents
child abandonment and/or abuse
maids mistreating children/stealing/running away/being abused
cheating cases like miraculous stones,unscrupulous salesmen,
get rich quick schemes/the dropped money or punctured
tyre money grab
fill in your favourite grouse here
2. Malaysians take some form of action:
write to the newspapers
bitch to their friends
pass the news along on the net and via sms
3. The authorities (Govt/Police/Bomba/Local Council/fill in the
blank):
take absolutely no action
do not respond
respond but take no action
make promises (it’s an election year) but there’s no follow-up
pass the buck, referring you from one dept to another
4. Malaysians give a collective sigh, shrug and go back to their
daily lives.
5. A few months later, someone tragically dies from:
purse snatching/robbery/rape/kidnapping/forced into vice
road rage and road bullying incidents
child abandonment and/or abuse
maids mistreating children/stealing/running away/being abused
cheating cases like miraculous stones, unscrupulous salesmen,
get rich quick schemes/the dropped money or punctured
tyre money grab
fill in your favourite grouse here
6. The media picks it up, smells a circulation winner, and goes
haywire:
You can’t open a newspaper, switch on the radio or tv without
reading/hearing/seeing the gory details in all their
sensationalised exaggeration.
Anyone remotely connected with the case, for example the
victim’s aunty’s 3rd husband’s nephew-in-law’s dentist’s
mistress’ regular car wash guy, P. Soapyshampoosamy @
Sam, 32, from Brickfields, will get his picture taken and his
15 minutes of fame in the press as he recalls in detail how
he once washed the victim’s father’s car in 1978 when she
was 3 years old.
7. The authorities (Govt/Police/Bomba/Local Council/fill in the
blank)feel the pressure as Malaysians join in the media
circus like lemmings and express their outrage at the
tragic and unnecessary death:
Miraculously, the chief of (fill in the blank) suddenly finds
renewed vigour in his job description as the head of a
public service dept and declares WAR on
(fill in the blank)in a hastily organized prèss conference.
A number of token arrests are made and splashed all over the
media
8. two months later, everything dies down and Malaysians give a
collective sigh, shrug and go back to their daily lives.
Until the next tragic, completely unnecessary
death.