Part 1 - Nice Guys Finish Last

A wise man once told me, "As a man, you have to die once in order to live." I never fully appreciated his advice, nor did I understand it until I experienced it firsthand. From that time on, I understood the origins of the Jerk vs. Nice Guy battle.

Right about now you may be asking yourself, "What in the world is this mofo talking about?" Well, I'm referring to the widely known fact that women habitually date men that are jerks while the "nice" guys are often left twiddling their thumbs in solitaire. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Figuratively speaking, in order for a man to enjoy the company of women and be able to seduce them, his inner nice guy must first die through heartache. It is at this point that his inner bad boy surfaces and goes on the prowl.

Any man who has experienced true love, only to have his heart crushed by the woman that he thought he would spend his life with, will understand what I am talking about. A man who has never experienced the heartache of being burned by the one person he really trusted probably won't understand my commentary. In any case, it is important to understand why nice guys finish last and why they probably always will.

Contrary to what most women think, men are interested in a successful relationship. Most men will never pass up the chance to date the woman of their dreams. In fact, when a man does encounter this rarity of a woman, his passion gets the better of him. The thoughts that race through his mind are something along the lines of, "This woman is a keeper. I'm going to treat her right and do all I can to make her happy."

The only problem with being the nice guy is that you also become the boring, predictable guy. The excitement of the seduction process begins to fade for the woman because she has what she wants and doesn't have to do any chasing. Eventually the woman starts losing interest and before you know it, her eyes start a wanderin”.

In the end, she'll look for a new man who will bring excitement back into her life by being the "new and improved" challenge. Pursuit and excitement usually stem from selfish attitudes, much like the bad boy who doesn't care about anyone but himself. The nice guy will be left heartbroken and will start wondering what in the world he did wrong, as in “wtf”??

It's at this point that men begin to realize that most women generally don't know what they want from us. Evidently, being the nice guy certainly doesn't help. The conclusion of the aforementioned scenario? The death of the nice guy persona. So that's the life and death of the nice guy and, as a result, "Mr. Nice" is resurrected into "Mr. Jerk".

As long as nice guys continue to get burned, there will always be a healthy supply of new jerks on the horizon to provide the dose of misery that women seem to yearn for. Eventually (often rather quickly), these nice guys will realize what type of man women actually want. The result is something that snaps inside of them as they begin to mimic the jerks that most women seem to pursue incessantly.

To become that kind of man, the charade must be taken to the extreme, which involves acting like a selfish person who has no regard for other people's feelings. This amounts to being a jerk who will say anything to get a woman into bed. The jerk will furnish her with tons of roller coaster emotions and once he has sex with her, he'll dump her. Why? Because he feels vengeful and wants to burn women the same way he was burned. Remember; once you get burned, don't stop playing with fire -- you TAME the flame and burn the dame. Gee, that rhymes.

So when women inadvertently give life to these jerks, they are really shooting themselves in the foot. That's the birth and legacy of jerks everywhere.

If nice guys are what women really want, then why is it that most nice guys are single? Why is it that we constantly hear stories about women dating habitual jerks that take them for a ride -- literally?

The fact is that women generally don't want nice guys, or maybe they're too busy chasing after jerks to realize that they do. Why? Because women act on impulse and emotion rather than fact. Who do you suppose brings out these same irrepressible emotions in women? Why, the jerks of course.

So what does this all add up to? No one wants to get hurt, but in the same instance, no one wants to be perceived as a jerk either. That is why it's important to have a balanced attitude towards relationships. A man has to be able to court a woman, amuse her and excite her while continuously remaining a challenge.

In other words, be nice to women, but remember who comes first in life; you, your irreplaceable family and friends, and then your woman. By following my theory, women will constantly be in hot pursuit of you.

But then again what do I know about women? I’ve recently been dumped. Very tactfully and diplomatically, no doubt, but firmly dumped all the same. Guess what? It bloody hurts.