Free Calendar from Free Calendar from Free Message Forum from Free Message Forums from

"You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you." - Anonymous

Latest Stuff @ SmoovePinch



Join the Mailing List
Enter your name and email address below:
Subscribe  Unsubscribe 
Free Mailing Lists from

Sunday, November 27, 2005


You're on your way to a new relationship. You have just met a woman who seems perfect; Lisa is fun to hang out with, attractive, intelligent, a good conversationalist, and she gets along with all your friends. There is only one problem - can you trust her?

Your heart has been blown to bits more than once and it took you so long to recover from your last girlfriend that your friends were looking into buying you self-help books. You want to be able to move on to a new level with Lisa, but you are still suffering from the burns you received in your last relationship.

How can you get to "Lisa land" with all the "baggage" you're still carrying from your past? Can you succeed in letting go of the past and move on with a new girlfriend after you've been burned so many times?

Although we learn from the past, it influences our future by making us weary of taking risks. I'm sure most of us have had our share of bad experiences and have sworn that we would never get hurt again. Women rip photographs of their boyfriends when their men upset them. Remember that picture the two of you took on your one-year anniversary? That's right - the half where you once stood is now at the bottom of her trashcan.

You don't need to be told that men and women react differently to heartache, but one thing will never change: the ultimate vow that this will never happen again.

No one can undermine the pain and frustration felt when a lover breaks your heart. Heartache is the worst and shouldn't be bestowed upon even your worst enemy. While getting back into the game of dating and relationships after a past relationship seems frightening, it also serves the purpose of meeting new people to get your mind off the past.

The "past" never seems to leave for good and creeps up from the woodwork once you decide to become close with someone new. Do you really want to give all the women who have hurt you the satisfaction of tainting your love life for good? Absolutely not! So what can you do?

The first thing you must realize is that if you have baggage, the potential woman in your life must have a load of her own. Who are we kidding? Women probably have even more baggage than men, since women seem to dwell on the past and are more emotional than men.

This is women we are talking about; if you have emotions that are bottled up and harbor resentment towards the opposite sex, women have probably already tried to think up ways to create a third sex to date.

It's safe to say that the men who are sweet and open have not been burned before. They are ready to open up to their partner, be honest with their feelings and don't see the risks in expressing their emotions. When a man has been burned in the past, he is too scared to wear his heart on his sleeve, lest he lose his guard and become vulnerable by expressing his emotions to his new partner.

Showing his emotions puts him on the line; a fighter with no weapons and no army behind him. He is defenseless, facing the army of women who stand fully armed.

Be wary of generalizations - Remember that if you have been hurt in the past by a woman (or more than one), you probably feel that all your trust in women has gone down the toilet along with the cologne she bought you.

One woman hurts you and now the rest of the female population has been branded heartless, conniving and manipulative. Don't assume that every woman is a vixen who wants to rip your heart out and stomp all over it. Both genders possess some bad apples.

The new girl you date is in a no-win situation and she hasn't even done anything wrong. You're no longer the only victim of what your ex has caused; the next person you date suffers from your ex's actions, as do you. You will never trust the next person, by default, and that person is getting the raw end of the deal because some other woman has ruined your life.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger - having been hurt in the past opens your eyes to women who have the potential to hurt you again. Be wary of these women, but do not jump to conclusions if you do happen to see the warning signs. By recognizing that it is possible to get hurt and knowing how to avoid this from happening, the women who have hurt you have almost done you a favor. Now you are fully armed.

A lesson lived is a lesson learned - naïve thinking such as, "I'm too strong to ever get hurt," can only get you into trouble. Remember that the lesson to be learned is not that it is dangerous to be sweet and honest, but that you have to learn from your mistakes.

Follow your instincts - If you have bad feelings about a new relationship, you are allowed to use precautionary measures to ensure that you will not get hurt. Put your foot down if you feel you are being taken advantage of, or approach her if you feel that something is wrong. On the other hand, if she is making you happy, then trust her and show her that she makes you happy.

The worst thing that you can possibly do is become too afraid and too macho to act naturally in a new relationship. As I said before, everyone has some sort of baggage, but it's up to us to put our pasts aside and move on. If we don't, we'll all fall victim to a vicious cycle in which one person is hurt and refuses to trust the next. This person will, in turn, make the other person distrust him.

We may have been hurt in the past, but the past can also be remembered for its happy moments. That's the kind of baggage you should take with you on your next trip to "relationship land".

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Sunday, November 20, 2005


I met up with an old friend for a drink a coupla days ago. The dude's married to a wonderful woman and has two kids. He is well-known for screwing around and being in the hospitality industry provides ample opportunity for casual sex. The whole evening he ragaled me with his various exploits, including an episode with twins. Phillipino, of course.

Knowing what we really want out of a relationship gets confusing at times. Should we be envious of the friend that has a new fling every couple of weeks and is never bored, or should we strive to be in the committed friend's place; the one who has been in a serious relationship for as long as anyone can remember?

The truth is, there really is no definite answer to this and it honestly comes down to whatever rocks your boat. So what if no one remembers your new significant other's name because you change girlfriends as much as Madonna alters her image? You may be more of the high school sweetheart type: one half of the couple named most likely to settle down, have ten kids and drive a minivan.

Imagine you’re standing before a glorious buffet, where the food laid out before you calls your name. Of course, I’m just trying another metaphor for the common "many fish in the sea," so try to play along. You pick up your plate and approach the table.

Being the gourmet diner that you are, you want to taste everything, even if some of it doesn't look so appetizing. In this case, you are getting premium variety as you sample every dish of the buffet of love and dating. A piece of sushi here -- nah, that doesn't taste good -- let's try the chicken fingers -- ah that's better, but next time you'd like that with less plum sauce, or perhaps barbecue sauce would be better.

Oh yes, with variety you really get a helping of every dish out there until you find that perfect dish; the cheesecake of your dreams. In order to get to that scrumptious cheesecake that you are now salivating for and can't get enough of, you have to try the average mousse and the not-so-tasty ice cream.

If you don't get the gist of my message, I'm sure I've at least succeeded at making you pretty hungry. Heh heh. The most common advantage of quantity in terms of relationships is that getting a taste of what's out there by dating many women allows you to distinguish what you do want and what you don't want.

How can you possibly know that you don't like veal when you've had steak all your life? By not trying relationships with a variety of women, you are almost cheating yourself out of the wonderful choices that are out there and available to you.

Don't misunderstand me; I'm not suggesting that you go on an eating binge or dating an overwhelming amount of women. I'm merely saying that it is beneficial to leave the doors open to women who don't initially seem like your type. By no means am I saying that this excuses someone from cheating; I encourage dating different women, but not simultaneously!

Experiencing several relationships before actually settling down with someone undoubtedly has its advantages. First off, when men who have had many experiences finally settle down, they probably won't wonder what else is out there that he could be missing out on.

He’s already delved into different relationships and is more certain in his serious relationship quality selection. He has narrowed down the scope of the perfect woman by weeding out the undesirable character traits and keeping note of the good characteristics.

Another advantage to quantity is that if the gourmet diner ends up single, it becomes easier for him to meet other women, or at least try to approach them. He won't be as intimidated by different women since he has already had experience in relationships with different personality types and can easily adjust to them. He can swim to the island more efficiently, as he has already tried out different strokes.

The marathon runner

The marathon runner is the one who would rather run a marathon in one long-term quality relationship, than jump over hurdles in shorter-term ones. This dude opts for quality when he finally finds it, or thinks he found it. What he doesn't realize is that there could be someone of better quality out there who may please him even more. He can be in danger of missing out on even better quality if he prefers the comfort and security of a long-term relationship.

Quality in relationships seems very appealing and attractive, although it might be better to experience quality with more than one person in your lifetime of dating.

The gourmet diner grows and develops thanks to the different relationships that he has experienced. Learning how to handle different situations, adjusting and compromising with different personality types is definitely advantageous. On the other hand, sticking it out with one person is also an advantage as the male and female grow together and develop within their relationship as it flourishes.

That is why it is important to stick it out when in a serious relationship and not bail out at any obstacle that presents itself. Compromising and working out whatever is wrong also leads to personality growth, which can help each party learn more about themselves.

On the negative side, those who seek long-term quality may not know how to handle the treacherous waters of bachelorhood should their five year run with one woman come to a grinding halt. When thrown into the water, there are only two possibilities; either sink or swim.

Since he has only perfected the backstroke, it may be difficult for him to meet and approach women as he has only grown accustomed to one personality type.

Let's place the marathon runner in the same scenario as the gourmet diner. When standing in front of the buffet, he knows he needs to stick to a strict diet in order to remain in shape; he opts for mineral water, vegetables and high protein foods. He holds out on the more fatty foods and sticks to the same diet consistently.

The marathon runner does not know what he is missing! Granted, if he knows he is not compatible with stubborn women, perhaps he shouldn't waste his time dating somebody who seems "stiff" when conversing with her at a party.

On the other hand, he may not know that the person he just had a debate with could be the woman of his dreams. Holding out for that high a quality woman can also be a long wait and the marathon runner may be left sitting on his appetite until he finds it.

In order to find that quality person worth settling down with, it's recommended that you leave doors to potential relationships open even if they don't seem to be high quality at first.

Date different types of women; learn how to compromise with different personality types and how to weed out those that are not long-term potential.

I'm not suggesting that there is a deadline to call it quits when involved in long-term relationships. I'm only saying that one should not hold out for that special quality girl when there is a possibility to date many women. Get to know a woman that you are interested in even if she does not seem like the one and you will learn to grow from your experiences.

Run marathons while in those relationships, but don't decide to alter your diet the moment something gets a little stale. When the two of you decide that your relationship isn't working anymore, feast on all the delicious treats until you find the one that pleases you the most!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Sunday, November 13, 2005

*hic* *burp* ... I like... Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

sophia and err...forgot her name Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

noelle in hot pink. may god have mercy on us poor males... Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

shakira and apple Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

the kind of sandwich i like... Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Regina, JD, Ugly Fat Bastard and Threza Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Cassandra Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Man, Nizz and Kean’s annual birthday party has become the bash of the year so to speak. This year it was held at Café Citron along Jalan Eaton in Kia Peng. The guest list practically read like the who’s who and the who’s son and daughter of who’s who in Kuala Lumpur.

Confused? So am I, but I’ve never seen so many beautiful, bootiful and bootylicious people congregated in one spot at the same time. The gates closed promptly at 12 midnight as promised in the invitation card, and many dolled up invitees were left out in the cold to hang their elegantly coiffured heads and to chill and ponder awhile on the benefits of punctuality and the selfishness of being fashionably late before being let in.

Many thanks to JD and Jungle Jerry for the excellent trip back in time music wise. Groovy, baby!

Many *hic* thanks to Casey, Area Sales Manager, Guinness Anchor Berhad, for agreeing to *burp* support this event even thought we asked him please please pwetty pwease with icing sugar on top at the very last minute.

You’re a good guy, Casey, and we lurve you. This “bodeking” has nothing to do with the fact that we have another New Year’s Eve party coming up!

Many thanks to Cassandra for agreeing to be my date for the night, and making every guy in the room jealous of me. I’ve never been called an ugly fat bastard so many times in one night! I’ll return your little doggie unharmed to you tomorrow, as promised, if you’ll return my ransom note.

Cameras were not allowed so I sneaked a coupla shots with my trusty Nokia. Please bear with the grainy shots as its only 1.3 megs
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

the armoured king crab - only the females are eaten, famed for their eggs Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

my walkie talkie lunch Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

swatow lane, home of good hawker fare Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

good stuff in the wee hours... Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

yum yum Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

duck kurma and dalca at kassim mustafa's Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

penang's resident heartbreaker, jarllyn. Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

believe it! Posted by Picasa
AddThis Social Bookmark Button


I had just bough a 2nd hand 4 wheel drive when Lincoln decided to play devil’s advocate. “Dude” he goes, “I’m going back home to Penang for the Deeparaya holidays. Why don’t we drive up and test your car? We’ll share the expenses”.

I thought it was an excellent idea, considering it was my mother’s birthday on the 10th as well. The 4 day trip would do her good as she was suffering from mild depression from missing my younger brother, studying medicine in Crimea, Russia.

So off to Ipoh we went, to spend a night at my parents’ house before shooting off to Penang the next day. Our friend Amran, the General Manager of the Penang Sports Club was supposed to book 2 hotel rooms for us.

Arrived in Penang via the scenic route (read: ferry) and checked into Naza Hotel at RM140 per day. Ouch! Already over budget on the 1st day. Spent an hour and a half negotiating the completely jammed up Gurney Drive only to discover a new mall called Gurney Mall (what else?) and the hawkers relocated to Tanjong Tokong.

Ended up at Long Beach, Batu Feringghi with Amran and his lovely girlfriend Sylvia. We took in the night markets selling fake branded items and drank warm beer. The service was shitty due to the outlets being overcrowded. We proceeded to Hillside where we caught up with JD and Regina, looking resplendent in their raya bajus. Drank copious amounts of chilled beer.

Amran then took us to Kassim Mustafa along Chulia Street, where we had excellent duck kurma and dalca for supper.

The next day we shifted to Ah Beng Guesthouse (I swear! See picture) at RM65 for an air-com room with attached bath, along the beachside at Batu Feringghi. However, the mattress sank like a deflated condom and there was no hot water. My mum wasn’t amused so on to Malaysia Hotel at RM175 the next day.

We met the absolutely delicious Jarllyn Yee, Lincoln’s college mate, when he invited her to join us to whack a few balls at an outlet called Screwball. She proved to be an excellent ball buster when Linc and her wiped out resident champs JD and Reggie. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter people, we’re talking about pool. I’m told Jarllyn breaks male hearts on an hourly basis. Sigh...

The next 3 days were filled with sightseeing and eating as we took in Captain Francis Light statue, Fort Cornwallis, Convent Light Street, St. George's Church, Penang State Museum, Cathedral of Assumption, E & O Hotel, Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion for its feng shui, Suffolk House, Penang Botanical Gardens, Kim Guan Coffee Factory (No 53 Stewart Lane. Operations hours (8.00am – 2.00pm, weekdays).

We bought traditional Penang Biscuits (Hoe Peng & Company. No 434 Penang Road (9.00am – 5.00pm), Preserved Nutmegs (Goh Eng Huat, 87 Magazine Road, Georgetown), Tropical Spice Garden (9.00am - 6.00pm, RM13 adult, Lone Craig Villa, Lot 595 Mukim 2 Jalan Teluk Bahang), Penang Heritage Trust (26A Stewart Lane, 10200 Penang)

For food, we tried the achee on Gurney Drive - delicious gravies, fresh fried tauhu, and the yummy fried chicken skin. Line Clear Nasi Kandar - guaranteed to clear any sinus problems you may have, the stalls along Swatow Lane, everyone of which serves delicious fresh hawker fare, the famous Curry Mee at the corner of the church at Jalan Paya Terubong, near Air Itam wet market. The Mamak Mee Rebus / Goreng with squid at Bangkok Lane facing Pulau Tikus road.

However, the meal that took the cake was our last meal in Penang. Amran coolly handed us a walkie-talkie, saying “just follow Sylvia’s car and holler if you get lost”.

Then it was through a rubber estate, naik bukit, turun bukit, masuk kampong, belok sini, belok sana, pusing lagi and voila! - we ended up at a seaside restaurant called Gee Seng at Bukit Tambun.

Sylvia and Amran did the ordering, and we sipped Chinese tea while waiting for the food to arrive. You should have seen my mother’s face as the first dish arrived. Steamed spindly sea shells - you picked the snails out with a toothpick and dipped them in chilli sauce. By the time the armoured King Crab made its appearance she was positively green in the face.

We politely placed the fried bee hoon in front of her, which she promptly polished off with a happy smile, and therefore a good gastronomical time was had by all.
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?Free Links from Bravenet.comFree Links from